GIVE EVEN 1%, BUT DON’T RUN AWAY!

Today I want to talk about one of my biggest flaws which, in reality, is a form of protection.
And I want to start with a question I often ask myself: “am I ready to build instead of burn?”.

Like every day, my morning starts at 5:30 AM.
But today I woke up with a different kind of energy: a desire to talk, to reflect, and to confront my thoughts and emotions.

I’m realizing more and more how much therapy is helping me.
I’m becoming more reflective, more aware, and more capable of living with myself.

I’m truly proud of the journey I’m on.
Because unlike many people, those who look inside themselves — with or without help — will always be one step ahead.

We should be honest and give credit to anyone who wakes up every day knowing that there is always room to grow.

But this journey also inevitably leads to cutting some relationships off.

You will see the dry leaves fall.
Those are the people who don’t want to be watered, who don’t want to grow with you.

It’s not cruelty. It’s natural. And you shouldn’t suffer because of it: it’s human!.

It’s better to isolate yourself in an environment that helps you grow than to stay connected to people who dim your light.
Remember: one rotten apple can spoil the rest.

But back to me.

My issue with relationships is clear: I struggle to open up, to trust, and often… I run away.

Unfortunately, the right person doesn’t arrive with a sign on their forehead saying, “I’m the right one.”
It takes time to understand if someone can truly become part of your life.

It’s a gamble. It’s an investment.
Getting to know someone requires patience, courage, and trust.

For me, it’s extremely difficult.

The thought that I might not see someone again in two days, two months, or two years — after trying to build something and investing my energy — fills me with anxiety and frustration.

After my breakup, I spent three years with blinders on, focusing only on my dreams and my goals.

But now there are no more excuses.

Step by step, I have to come out of my shell without sabotaging myself.

And this is where, during a conversation with my therapist, Pandora’s box opened.

I want to be honest: I had tears in my eyes because of the anxiety and stress that even the idea of getting to know someone can bring me.

She looked at me and, with a calm and gentle voice, said something very simple and direct:

“Give even 1%, but don’t run away.
Some days you’ll give 100, other days 60, other days 20.
And that’s okay. But you stay.”

And how incredibly true is that?

Give what you can.
And the other person — if they truly care — will understand.

You have to learn to stay and be vulnerable even when your energy is close to zero.

We can’t always give 100% in relationships.
Some days we will give less, some days more and that’s okay.

But we cannot cut things off and run away just because fear shows up.

I mean…
I crossed the ocean alone with a 23 kg suitcase, moved to a different state, a different culture, a different language…and I’m afraid of building a relationship with someone?
Well… yes.

For me, this feels even bigger.

Because here you’re dealing with another human being.

You have to face thoughts that are not yours, a different energy, a different soul, emotions — beautiful or messy.

You can’t control everything here.

You can have a plan, but you can’t impose it.
You have to communicate, compromise, and stop assuming the other person thinks like you do.

I also realized something important about myself:
what I sometimes call “losing interest” is actually a pattern I have.

When things aren’t exactly the way I want them to be, I put on my armor and disappear.
But the truth is that we need to give ourselves time to get to know each other.
Give the other person the chance to understand who you are.

It takes time.

You also have to accept that your thoughts, your morals, your sense of right and wrong are not necessarily theirs.

You have to ask questions.
You have to communicate.
You have to smooth the edges sometimes.

And if, after observing and receiving clear signals, you realize it’s not what you want — then yes, you also need the courage to walk away.

So what about you? Do you stay even when every instinct tells you to run?
Or do you retreat? (tell me in the comments!).

Because learning to stay when things are not perfectly aligned…that’s another challenge, another chapter to face!

The blonde unfiltered